Tips for an Imaginary Camera Manufacturer

Tip 1: Have a mode that flips the live image right to left, and also bottom to top.  In other words, have a view camera screen.  I’m sure it’s easy to do in firmware.  Seeing things in this abstract way is one of the best means to get learn compositions.  I have it from a good source, that for many of his street pictures, HCB had an eyepiece that flipped the image upside down.  I tried finding one of these upside down viewfinders for the M3 years back; but nobody knew what I was talking about.

You really would be surprised by what happens to an image when you flip it upside down.  All of a sudden, you see how this image is composed.  Really and truly.  I’m pretty sure that some app would be good for this as well – even for a smart phone.

Tips 2 & 3 HAVE BEEN BLACKED OUT BY THE CENSOR


Contact Sheets
Umbrella Contact Sheet

Tip 4: No Chimping Mode

If you switch the camera to No Chimping Mode (NCM) you won’t be able to view images taken in NCM until N hours have passed.  (Where “N” is the number of hours you select).

This would give you the same feeling you had with film (or never had with film but would like to experience).  An entire day of wondering, did I or did I not get that shot? You replay that shot all day in your head;  and now you’re looking at your phone time, waiting and waiting for the file to unlock.   You still can’t see it (even on your iPad) until the NCM time lock is up.

I will suggest that this is the most dangerous, mind-bending, un-instamatic like feature that only an old codger would pen.  The entire world is now based on how quickly you can see and react to an image, usually with another image called a GIF or a EMOJI.

These locked (undeveloped) image files are very like the film days.  But better.  You can’t ruin the image by using water that’s too hot, or some liquid developer that’s gone bad; or scratch the film when you’re loading it onto a reel, and it slips out and falls on the floor in pitch darkness, except for that little sliver of light beneath the door where you’ve placed a towel.

The No Chimping Files will be, just as you shot them; and no amount of pleading or hacking will open them until their alarm goes off.  And so then, several hours later, you’ll be very excited to either chimp the file and see how you did while you’re still out walking around; or see it on that nice new monitor.  Finally.

And for customer service department, be prepared for about a billion calls claiming there’s something wrong with the camera and all the pictures have this NO CHIMPING banner on them and the b.g. is black.  You might even call the camera the BRAND-NAME NO CHIMP CAMERA.

Of course a lot of people will believe it’s a camera for chimpanzees; but once it catches on.

Frame 12 from the contact sheet:

Your thoughts?