Half Avenues of New York Policy

NOTICE TO: RESIDENTS OF NYC

DUE TO A LACK OF BUILDING SPACE FOR HIGH RISE BUILDINGS, AND GIVEN THE VALUE OF PARTICULAR AVENUES, THE CITY OF NEW YORK HAS VOTED TO BEGIN THE SPLITTING OF AVENUES PROGRAM.

THIS PROGRAM WILL HAS ALREADY BEEN STARTED ON SIXTH AVENUE.  IN THE FOLLOWING MONTHS, YOU SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR PARK AVENUE TO SPLIT INTO TWO AVENUES.

THE EAST SIDE OF PARK AVENUE WILL HEREBY BECOME PARK AVENUE EAST.  AND THE OTHER SIDE, YOU CAN GUESS.

IMPORTANT: ONLY NUMERIC AVENUES WILL BE GIVEN THE ONE-HALF MONIKER.

THIS SIMPLE ACCOUNTING GIMMICK WILL MORE THAN DOUBLE THE COST OF LAND ALONG THESE VALUABLE AVENUES.  THAT ADDITIONAL MONEY WILL BE USED FOR PUBLIC TRANSIT.

WITH OUR CONTINUED WISH FOR YOUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING – THE DEPT. OF DEVELOPING NEW FORMS OF RAISING CASH FOR OVERFED POLITICIANS AND THEIR FRIENDS.

SIX AND A HALF AVENUE

1 thought on “Half Avenues of New York Policy

  1. I lived in a small city (Terre Haute, Ind.) many years ago that has half streets. Lots of them, actually. In the local vernacular, you said them as “number-th and a half street.” For example, for a few years I worked in a building on 13th and a Half Street. It was incorrect usage that would make your eighth-grade English teacher cringe. But it was certainly a pragmatic solution to a sticky “how do I say that?” problem.

    Terre Haute also has numbered avenues, making it possible to go to the corner of 8th and 8th (St. and Ave.). Thank heavens there were no half avenues.

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