By Artie Stuff

I had insomnia last night.  I first tried some TM from the old days (Transcendental Meditation) but was confused about what my mantra was!!!  I thought it was WUN which has no meaning to me, and which cost me $5 to get from an old friend in the 70s… But was it WUN or was it WON?  They both sound the same.  The cosmic vibrations are the same.  But they’re spelt differently.  Maybe it was ONE!  No, too many dangers with that.  Who knows what the effect of misspelling a mantra could be.  BAD KARMA and I have enough trouble spelling.

So I went back to counting sheep. In each scene, I tried to imagine white fluffy sheep jumping over a fence.  I made the fence very low, but still my sheep couldn’t jump over the fence and so I counted them as they piled up in an injured pile by the fence.  At first you thought these sheep were Steve McQueen on a motorcycle – but they kept getting caught in the barbed wired.

Enumerations – that’s what I learned about in computer programming – but lists popped into my mind and I decided to make a bucket list.

The first thing on my bucket list is to get a PIE IN THE FACE.  I’m not kidding about that.  I want to know what kind of pies are generally used.  What do professional pie throwing comedians recommend?   I don’t want just whipped cream in a graham cracker crust.  I want something with custard and maybe meringue.  And I was thinking, and starting to get sleepy about what a bucket list actually was.

A list of things you wanna do before you “kick the bucket.”  But that brought to flashes to my mind:

  1. Why is it called kicking the bucket?  What bucket were they talking about?  I imagined it had something to do with a hanging – maybe you stood on a bucket and someone kicked it out from under you.  Naw.  I forgot about that… beginning finally to get sleepy and then
  2. There was a scene in a comedy – where somebody dies and the camera cuts to a closeup of his foot actually kicking a bucket over.  Maybe it was a British comedy like The Wrong Box… and now the world was nicely getting softer and fading away and I was entering into one of those dreams that are like films.  Morgan Freeman from the Bucket List comedy was having trouble putting a frame together.  His wife, finally got him to toss it out.For some reason, I was at his New York home…  and it was a pleasant dream, but that’s all I can remember.

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