The Crush
I don’t know man - sometimes this just seems like a crazy way of living. If you go back into subway history, there was a time when they had “pushers” to cram you in. I think this still exists in some foreign cities. It can’t be good for you. Early on - I experienced a fear of crowds - especially on the subway.
You’d be crammed in there and the train stops between stations and you can’t move. Start to sweat. Get nice and clammy. And I’d think I was going to faint. If I did faint, I wouldn’t be able to fall so that part was okay.
I was cured by doing all the photography on the subway and would suggest it as a cure for anyone else who has this subway-phobia. Photographing your fear is a great way to remove yourself from the situation. This was pretty much the only phobia I had. If I haven’t been on the subway for a long time - it comes back a little - but I just point my camera at it and I feel better.
I don’t know if there’s a specific word for this fear - since I’m okay in crowds so long as there’s a way out. Subwayitis? I love flying when I get a chance - because - and this may seem idiotic - I’m not afraid of dying. The flight to the ground will be quick and painless. But the “sick man on the subway,” is a horrible fate. Can you imagine if you do faint - and tie up the entire line - and get carried out before your fellow citizens on a stretcher. Ugh. That’s my worst fear. Humiliation.
So as I say - it’s ironic (and not ironic) that I’ve done so much work on the subway - because that cured me - at least for the time being.